Now is the point where all the snow gets brown and crusty and black and it's just gross. Of course most of it's been like that for quite some time now but I'm noticing it more right now. Snow is a wonderful thing. It's such a cool toy from Heavenly Father! :) It's a lot of fun to get in snowball fights with your friends and then, when all the mischief is finished, turn around and go inside warm up in front of the fire or in my case the portable heater in my room and just chill with friends. :) I haven't had much opportunity to be a kid as much as I'd like to have this winter but I'm okay with that. Sometimes I have to be an adult. Unfortunately, I've had to be an adult for a while now and being a kid is not something I'm encouraged to do at my house.
Life is going fairly well at the moment. I'm happier right now than I've been for about two and a half weeks. I met a guy that was incredibly anti-mormon and he created a lot of confusion in my mind. He thinks it's his mission basically to "save" mormons and I kind of followed right along for a little while. He had a lot of convincing arguments that totally threw me for a loop and made me very confused. I have had a hard time with church for a while now but I thought I was okay. I went to church by myself and for myself for the first time the Sunday before I met this guy. Then he chimes in with all of his anti literature and media and it was very convincing. Especially since I've been questioning a lot of the things he provided "proof" for. I'm doing better though.
I watched the broadcast of the funeral for President Hinckley and I maintained my composure until President Monson got up to speak. Then when he was finished and the choir sang, somebody broke the water main behind my eyes. I had some really strong feelings during that ten to fifteen minute span of time and everything just kind of calmed down. I felt more at piece and happy than I have in a while.
I still miss my family immensely. Being here in Salt Lake is not as easy as I thought it would be. I really took for granted the fact that I could live at home and not pay rent or have to buy food. I can't buy food here either though because my roommates eat it or throw it out but that's beside the point...sort of. I'm to a point where I just need to figure out where I want to go with my life and go from there. I keep thinking I might want to go to college and I've submitted my application to the "U" but I'm still dragging my feet. I don't know if it's just lack of motivation or what. Maybe I'm just super super lazy and I don't want to do it. I don't know. I wish I could figure out how things work.
I have a new goal. I'm going to lose fifty pounds before I go home in June for my little brothers graduation! :) ......at least, I'm gonna try. I seem to remember a similar goal last year that died about a week after I set it. We'll see I guess. ;)
