Life is good...

The title of this post pretty much says it all. I'm so excited for the holidays. The season has invaded my heart. I love Christmas. I love the traditions we have as a family and I love the general feeling of love the world has for each other. There is so much goodness in people and I'm glad that at least once a year, we can put aside our differences and just be. I wish we could have it be all year long, but human nature dictates that that is not necessarily impossible, but highly unlikely. Nevertheless, the facts don't change my love of Christmas.



Things in my life have been pluggin along at a good pace. I'm working at DynCorp again and it's soooo much better than three years ago. I love where I work and who I work with and that makes all the difference. There are quite a few wonderful people on my team that I just adore. There's always the people who like to make life difficult, but I'm handling things quite well. I like what I do. I'm the official Terminator. Hahaha People ask what I do and before I have a chance to say anything my coworkers speak up and tell them I'm a Terminator. The looks I get are pretty dang funny.



My personal life is going better. I'm figuring out how to make and keep myself happy and it's exhilirating. I am relying more and more on myself. The desperate need for approval from other people isn't as important as it used to be. I am learning to be happy with me and that's enough.



Remi is moving home apparently. He is anticipating either being sent to Afghanistan with DynCorp or going active duty in the Marine Corps. He's moving home in anticipation of leaving his stuff here. He was supposed to move home two days ago, but apparently we're bickering...which is news to me. He should be home in the next few days though. He and mom have apparently formulated a plan that I have no choice in. He told me that the days he's not running, we will be going walking. My battle with my weight, which isn't really a battle so much as me continually saying I'm going to war with it and then doing nothing, is driving him insane. He has been wanting to get me to go with him for a while and I just keep refusing. I'm going to try and start a competition with one of the guys at work though so I'm hoping Remi will give me more help. I would like to learn how to fight actually. I don't even know how to defend myself and my track record with creepers is such that it would probably be a smart thing.

One of these days, I will learn how to control my heart instead of allowing it to control me. I keep having to go through this particular lesson and it's still not sinking in. I can't even really say I'm getting better at control because I'm not. When I find something to love, I love hard. The consequence is I fall flat on my face and my face connects with the floor and breaks my nose. The break is intense and by now my nose is so crooked and screwed up it's a wonder anyone recognizes me. Maybe this was Heavenly Father's way of giving me a cheap nose job... Either way, you'd think by now I'd have learned my lesson. Not so much.

I'm the type of person that has a big enough heart to love everyone. Literally. I love my family. I love my friends. I love random people I meet on the street. I can't help it. I don't want to think badly of people. I will more readily think poorly of myself before I think poorly of someone else. I will go so far as to make excuses for bad behavior and abuse that's leveled at me. It's a blessing and a curse. People feel comfortable around me and are more ready to be friendly because I love so easily. It's a curse when I let my heart get in the way of my common sense and the falling happens. If there's no one there to catch me, and so far there hasn't been, the floor rushes up at me really really fast. The reaction time is getting quicker and I'm starting to actually get my hands up to nearly catch myself and keep myself from hitting the ground, but I'm just not quick enough yet.


So this post started with Life is good...and it is. :) I'm ok. Things don't always go the way I'd like them to, but they could go a lot worse. I've made many new friends this year and learned a lot of things. Christmas is still in my heart and I will keep it that way...at least I'll try to. I hope next year has fewer connections with my old friend...the floor. :) I'm just gonna take it one day at a time and go from there.