Friday, December 31, 2010

Last few hours of 2010

Well, no one can say 2010 wasn't a good year. So much has happened to me and my friends and family. It's making me smile just thinking about it.

For starters, I was hired full time at the very beginning of the year. That definitely set a tone for it to be just awesome. And it has been. It's been a fairly good ride this year and I'm happy with the results. There are always things I wish I'd accomplished, but I'm not dead yet. I'm not even close.

Last year, I wrote a post and included what I wanted for 2010. I kept it to three things that I thought were relatively easy to actually follow through with. In a way, I've done that. I wanted confidence, especially in my relationships. I've achieved that. I can talk to anyone. I do it for a living.

I wanted to be able to finish Hope and Ashes. Haven't accomplished that entirely, but I figured out how. I cleared my writers block and am back to progressing with a truly wonderful story. I've had a few people read my final draft of what I've edited so far and the response has been very positive. I'm excited to be able to put it in book form and hand it to my nephews, sister, friend, and anyone else who wants it.

The last thing I wanted was to find love...and boy did I accomplish that in an odd way. I wanted to find a love that would last me through eternity...and I did. No. I'm not engaged. I'm still not even really dating. What do you mean then, Kati? is probably what you're asking yourself. I mean this: I found me. I wanted a love worth dying for and God showed me a mirror. I have spent a great deal of my life under the firm belief that I don't matter as much as other people. He showed me differently. I may not be where I need to in all aspects of my life, but I'm beautiful and amazing and so blessed with talents and gifts and possessions and people in my life. I have discovered these things, but more importantly, I believe them. I have told people, my mom in particular, that they could not change the events of my life...because I did not want to change my life's path. You cannot change someone. The way one sees him/herself will not change until one wants it to change, no matter how you try to bribe or convince.

All in all, it's been a great year. That's not saying it has been all sunshine and roses. There's been a lot of growing pains involved with everything that's transpired in my life and this year was no different. There were fights and arguments and tears and heartache. In August, a friend of mine was killed in Afghanistan when the vehicle he was in flipped after hitting a roadside bomb. He was the gunner and the obvious result was his death. That hit me a lot harder than I was anticipating. Benjamen Chisholm had a personality I've envied for many years. He lived life with a go hard or go home attitude and he loved almost everyone. He always took care of the people around him. At the memorial service we held for him in Fort Worth, several of his friends repeated something that will stick with me forever. They said that he told them that he could not live with himself if someone else died because he wasn't there...and he lived up to that. He followed through on what he believed in. I will forever admire him.

Looking forward, I'm anticipating great things for 2011. I'm focusing on loving myself more and getting in shape simply for health reasons. I'm also going to move out. Hallelujah! It's time. I'm going to go to school and I'm going to set myself up for the rest of my life. There is no going back from here. There is no waiting until I can. There is here and now and what lies in front of me. And I plan on taking full advantage of that.

Happy New Year!

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