So I'm realizing that I probably shouldn't have written that post on the tenth. Not that I have a problem with people reading it, I just don't think that most people would want to know about that. I know what Mike would tell me....I need to put it behind me and never think about it again. Here's why I have a problem with that:
What happened in my life in the past two or three years is not something I can just sweep under the rug. Having a child, married or not, changes the aspects of your life and the things that you focus on. I wrote about it because, even if it doesn't help me right now to talk about things, looking back on it later will. Having a journal or some record to look back on these things is a big deal for me. I almost wish I'd made a copy of the journal I gave to my daughter's adoptive parents so i could look back on how things are now as opposed to when I was right in the middle of everything.
I didn't mean to offend or startle anyone. I guess my purpose in writing that was to maybe illustrate the way I think a little. I know that didn't make anything more clear to anyone but it's all I have. I don't know how to explain me. I never have. I wouldn't even know where to begin to start.......but I like me. I like what I've accomplished. I know I still have a long way to go but who doesn't? I'm working on it as much as I can but it's not something that can change over night despite what some people think. We're talking about YEARS of thinking a certain way and being told that it's wrong and you need to change it. That's not an easy thing to do.
Anyway. That's my spouting off for the day. I'm sorry if I offended anyone by the post on the 10th. It was unintentional.
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